Served with divorce papers: what to do

Your deadline to respond, your options and what a default judgment means.

Being served with divorce papers is upsetting, but it doesn't mean you have lost anything. The papers start a court case, and you have the right to take part in it. What you do in the next few weeks matters, because the time to respond is short. This guide explains your choices, using the rules in our 48 state guides.

What you received

You will usually get two documents. The summons names the court and the case number and tells you how long you have to respond. The petition or complaint says what your spouse is asking the judge for: the divorce itself, and often orders about property, debts, support and children. Some states add a notice about financial disclosures, a parenting class or orders that apply to both spouses while the case is open. Read everything, and write down the date you got the papers.

How long you have to respond

In our state guides, the time to respond after service runs from 20 to 30 days. Some states give more time if you were served by mail or outside the state. Examples:

  • California: 30 days after service (stated on the Summons, form FL-110).
  • Texas: By 10:00 a.m. on the Monday after 20 days have passed since service (Tex. R. Civ. P. 99(b))
  • Florida: 20 days after service.
  • New York: 20 days after personal service in New York; 30 days if served another way or outside New York (CPLR 320(a))

The summons in your hands is the best guide to your deadline. Mark it on a calendar, and count from the day you were served, not the day the case was filed.

If you don't respond

If you miss the deadline, your spouse can usually ask for a default judgment. The judge may then decide the case without hearing from you and give your spouse what the petition asks for, including how property and debts are divided, support and the children's schedule. Changing a default judgment later is hard. Even if you agree with everything, it is usually better to respond or to sign the papers your state uses for an agreed case.

Your options

  • Agree. If you agree with the divorce and the terms, you can often sign a form accepting service and a written agreement, and the case can move faster. 25 of our state guides describe a waiver or acceptance of service, including Arizona, California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Idaho and Iowa.
  • Respond. File the response (called an answer, a response or an appearance) on your state's official form by the deadline, and send a copy to your spouse or their lawyer. In your response you can agree with some requests and disagree with others.
  • Ask for what you want. Many states let you file your own requests, such as a counter-petition, for custody, support or the division of property.

Fees for responding

Some states charge a fee to respond. In our guides: $172 in Arizona, $116 in Colorado, $136 in Idaho, $175 in New Jersey, $301 in Oregon and $130 in Utah. If you can't afford it, ask the court for a fee waiver, the same way the person who files can. The filing fees table shows each state's fee and fee waiver form.

Children and support

If you have children together, the case will decide custody (states use different names for it) and child support, which follows your state's guidelines. Either parent can ask for temporary orders while the case is open. In 16 of our state guides, parents must take a parenting class, including Arizona, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Illinois and Iowa. Your state page links to the official child support calculator where one exists.

Get help

Court self-help centers can explain the forms and the process. Legal aid offices give free legal help to people with low incomes, and a lawyer is worth talking to if your spouse has one, if you disagree about the children or property, or if there is a house, a business or a pension. Each state page lists free help.

If you are afraid of your spouse, call 911 in an emergency. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is free and confidential, 24/7: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. You can ask the court for a protective order.

Step by step

  1. Write down the date you were served and find the deadline on the summons.
  2. Read the petition and list what you agree and disagree with.
  3. Get your state's response form from the court's self-help page, linked on your state page.
  4. File your response on time, pay the fee or ask for a waiver, and send a copy to your spouse.
  5. Go to every hearing, and use the divorce checklist to gather your documents.